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Love is patient, love is kind

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God Does Not Call the Equipped, He Equips the Called

I have really struggled writing this blog, it's not that I couldn't think of things to write about, I thought of lots of things to write about, sometimes I had a hard time sleeping because I was thinking about things to write. Then I would wake up in the morning tired because I couldn't sleep well and then my heart wasn't in it anymore. I have actually wrote a few posts that I haven't published and don't know if I will publish them.
My hesitancy comes from lack of confidence in myself, but that is the problem, I am putting my faith in myself instead of God. I keep saying I can't do it.
 I started this blog because I felt a calling to do it, and I feel like God has laid it on my heart to talk about being "real", I'm guessing to feel relatable to others. None of us are perfect, and I don't ever want to come across as self-righteous, hypocritical or like my life is perfect and nothing is ever wrong, but I also don't want to be negative and overly dramatic or just plain wrong in what I say. I think I've struggled also because I have a tendency to babble and get on different tangents or just not make any sense and it's hard not to think about what people will think of me. It's also very difficult to put myself out there and be vulnerable.I feel ill-equpped to write a blog. I have thought God, You want ME to write a blog?!! Who wants to hear what I have to say? It's been as if He's saying it's not about what you say, it's about what I say through you!
God does not call the equipped, He equips the called!
The next time you feel like God did not make you for a grand purpose, remember:
Noah got drunk, Genesis 9:20-22.
Abraham was too old, Genesis 17.
Jacob was a liar, Genesis 27:19.
Leah was considered ugly, Genesis 29:17
Joseph was abused, Genesis 37:24-36.
Moses stuttered, Exodus 4:10.
Gideon was afraid, Judges 6:21-23.
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer, Judges 14.
Rahab was a prostitute, Joshua 2:1.
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, Jeremiah 1:6-7 and 2 Timothy 1:2.
David had an affair and was a murderer, 2 Samuel 11:3-27.
Elijah was suicidal, 1King 19.
Isaiah preached naked, Isaiah 20:2-4.
Jonah ran from God, The book of Jonah
Naomi was a widow, Ruth 1:3.
Job went bankrupt, The Book of Job.
Peter denied Christ, Matthew 26:69-70.
The Disciples fell asleep while praying, Matthew 26:40.
Martha worried about everything, Luke 10:40.
Mary Magdalene was cleansed of seven demons, Mark 16:9.
The Samaritan woman at the well had five husbands, John 4:18.
Zaccheus was too small, Luke 19:3.
Timothy had an ulcer, 1Timothy 5:23.
Lazarus was dead! John 11.
 I felt God nudging me, after hearing this song by Gospel singer Mandisa, to be real about myself.
What If We Were Real 
Well, I'm tired of saying everything
I feel like I'm supposed to say
I'm tired of smiling all the time
I wanna throw the mask away
Sometimes you just have a bad day
Sometimes you just wanna scream
Tell me I'm not the only one
Tell me that you feel just like me

We keep trying to make it look so nice
And we keep hiding what's going on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real

I'm over hiding my tears
I think I'm gonna let them go
I'm over acting so strong
When I ain't even in control
We make it so complicated
But why does it have to be
Why can't we open our hearts and let everybody see

We'd think a little less of ourselves
We'd care about someone else
'Cause we'd know just how they feel
Maybe we could let someone love us
Maybe we'd a little more like Jesus
Why can't we learn to be real

 I have dealt with depression for most of my life, I didn't have a name for it when I was younger, I thought I was just sort of a melancholy person. The depression exacerbated when my dad had cancer and when he died, I was 20 at the time, I had panic attacks when he was ill and after he died. I had had panic attacks as a child but had not had any in quite awhile, if you've never had a panic attack, it is a scary feeling,-your heart pounds, you feel like you can't breathe and you are just frozen. It always happens when I am in bed trying to sleep, which in the dark always seems to make it feel even worse especially if you are alone. In those times, I just pray to God to get me through it. I avoided any medication for a long time, but when my mom died I felt that I needed medication.
As a Christian, it's hard to admit you're depressed, Christians aren't "supposed" to be depressed, they are supposed to have hope in God.  But when a person is sick, they take medicine, I don't think God expects you to be miserable and not seek medical help but also don't think a person should pop a pill for everything. I'm not saying that it's just purely medical situation either, I think a person should pray and ask God for help and put their hope in Him, and look within themselves to see what else could be going on. It's hard to admit also that I have struggled in my faith many times in my life and I have even had times I have been mad at God, because he took my parents away from me, at least that is how I saw it. It's hard to understand God's will sometimes, and sometimes I don't want to hear about anything about it, sometimes we aren't ready. I think God places things in our life, like a post on Facebook that has a verse you have heard so many times but for some reason this time, it clicked with you or your devotional for the day is exactly what you needed to hear!
 There are many verses in the Bible that can help in times of depression, here are a few of my favorites:
 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:11 
 Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Phillipians 4:8-9 
 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29: 11

My hope, in writing this blog is that you will be blessed by the words I am writing. I pray for all of you that take the time to read my blog and know how my I appreciate it.
Love and blessings,
Jami

Decorating my craft room.

I moved my craft room up to our spare bedroom last summer after my brother moved out. It had been in our 2nd living area but I decided to move it to the spare bedroom upstairs because it was getting too cluttered and anytime anyone came over they could see the mess. My husband and I painted the room last summer and brought up many things from downstairs but I didn't get much further than that. It started becoming a catch-all for things we didn't know what to do with and after Christmas I purchased some clearance Christmas items and they landed in there, and my niece occasionally stays at my house so her play pen and some of her toys and paraphernalia are in there too. So here I am now working on straightening it up and making it a usable space. It is one room I decided to be adventurous in and do something different in. Most of my house is pretty neutral, my bedroom color is called Hazel, it is a pretty blue. Both bathrooms are tan. I don't know what you color you would call our living room, it's kind of a light brown, it is the same color that it was when we moved in, it does go well with our Western theme. Besides the hallways, it is the only place that has the same color that was there when we moved in four years ago. The second living area was a maroon color, very dark, I decided on a color called cashew and I liked it on the swatch but it ended up looking peach, didn't really care for it but didn't want to paint it again. We did, however,  this summer get some extra paint like the Hazel color of our bedroom and are planning to paint it sometime soon. We painted 3 rooms last summer and got kind of "painted out". We painted our kitchen and my craft room the same kind of green, but I decided to do a distressed treatment in my craft room, since nobody really goes in there but me I decided to be adventurous. In the past, I wouldn't have done so, my husband has his own office and I have my craft room so I thought why not?! At first, I was a little heavy handed with the distressing and still need to fix it. I love bright colors but don't have the guts to use them much. I have really been into the Junk Gypsy style, if you're not familiar with the Junk Gypsies, they are two sisters from Texas who have a show on HGTV and they hunt for rustic, antique, etc. at flea markets, antique shops, etc., then they decorate rooms using the stuff they found. They use lots of bright colors and do a lot distressing and antiquing. They also repurpose and make things out of "junk", as they call it. They use a lot of turquoise and fuchsia, so I decided to paint my closet doors and the back of the entry door a turquoise then antique it. I am mostly happy with it, I am a perfectionist so I always feel like something I work on needs tweaking, but sometimes the more you try to tweak something you end up making a mess so I try to leave well enough alone. Then I painted the inside of the closet fuchsia, and wow was it bright so I toned it down by dry brushing a little brown over it and now I like it much better. It's not a style everyone will like, but it's bright and cheery and makes me smile and that's the important part!! Your home should reflect who you are!! I have many times gone for what is popular at the time, but on the most part I am pretty traditional and like things that don't go out of style. I try to buy things that I really like. I only buy fabric covered furniture new,  but I do like getting wooden furniture and painting it or if it has a nice wood grain I will keep it as is. I also like getting decorative items at thrift stores, estate sales  and yard sales and cleaning it up, I enjoy repurposing and painting them.
When I started this post,  I intended on just talking about my craft room but I guess I'm just procrastinating getting started on said craft room, ha ha! So I better get started! I will post pictures when I get done straightening it and you can see what I was talking about.  I am including this pic of a handy item I like to use for my crafts-a clear shoe holder, they are great for small items that that get lost in baskets and boxes, and you can see what is in there. This one is from Kmart and has 24 openings. I better get to work, so I can get some pictures soon!
God's blessings,
Jami

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Purpose in Life

As I start this blog, I feel compelled to write about purpose in life.  I've heard a couple of songs recently that made me think about purpose and what am I doing with my purpose. One song was "A Few Short Years" by country singer Ty Herndon, where he sings "What's a life if you ain't gonna live it, nothing but a few short years" Another song was by Gospel singer Mandisa called "Waiting For Tomorrow"

"Waiting For Tomorrow"
Maybe tomorrow I'll start over
Maybe tomorrow I will finally change my ways
Said the same things yesterday
Don't know why I'm so afraid
To let you in, to let you win
To let you have all of me
Can't spend my whole life wasting
 Everything I know I've been given
'Cause you've made me for so much more than
Sitting on the side lines
I don't wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could've been better
Every day's a day that's borrowed
So, why am I waiting for tomorrow
Maybe today I'll start believing
That you're mercy is really
As real as you say it is
It doesn't matter who I used to be
It only matters that I've been set free
You rescued me you're changing me
Jesus take everything
Can't spend my whole life wasting everything I know I've been given
'Cause you've made for so much more than
Sitting on the side lines
I don't wanna look back and wonder
If good enough could've been better
Every day's a day to start over
So, why am I waiting for tomorrow

  At 39, I still am not sure of my purpose, besides being a wife, sister, friend etc. which are all important things but I want to feel like I'm doing something to help people.  I am creative and compassionate, and I feel that those are my God-given gifts to use for His glory that is why started this blog. At first I was going to just have a coupon and saving money blog because bargain shopping is something enjoy and with the economy, I thought I would share tips and strategies to save money, but I felt God nudging me to do more. There are many things I am passionate about, I enjoy decorating, doing crafts and making a nice home, and I want to blog about those things too, but in the big scheme of things, inspiring others and possibly bringing souls to Christ is so much more important.  Matthew 4:19- "Come follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men"

So many people are just going through life, going through the motions, going through life, not feeling a purpose and just trying to make it through the day. God gave us life so that we can have abundant life, not just making through each day as Steven Curtis Chapman sings in the song "More To This Life" 
There's more to this life than living and dying,
More than just trying to make it through the day;
More to this life, more than these eyes alone can see,
And there's more than this life alone can be. 
So where do we start to find every part
Of what makes this life complete;
If we turn our eyes, to Jesus we'll find
Life's true beginning is there at the cross where He died.
He died to bring us more to this life.

 These are things I have to remind myself of daily. It's easy just to be complacent and stay in our comfort zones but I don't believe that is what we are called to do. There IS more to this life, more than our eyes can see. Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. 
God's blessings to you, 
Jami